home of the enslaved and cowardly

So the conversation with my middle-aged, Chinese father went like so: "I remember the movies that impacted me the most when I first came to America" "Titanic" "No, Charlie " "Dad, what the hell is Charlie? I've never heard of it before?" a low-budget, 90s film perhaps? "nononono...You know the one with the 娃娃(doll) with the scar. Scary" "A doll? You mean Chuckie?" "Yeah. That's what I said. Scary doll, scared the shit out of me" "Really? Did you understand english then?" "哎呀(onomatopoeia of exasperation- aiyah! ) I didn't need to. So. Scary. At first, I watched by myself, but then I was too scared so I convinced your mother to watch it with me. She was pregnant with you at the time, I think. She thought the movie would influence your birth, but I was scared so there were no other options" "...So you risked your firstborn's birth to watch Chuckie?" "...Yes" ...

Oh how my tongue has become knotted and heavy. Another year of anti-productiveness, mal-satisfaction, and occasionally joyfulness. What happens as we approach 2012?! Just kidding, I have not watched 2012, nor do I believe in the end of the world being 2012 (y2K!). However, I do feel a sense of unjustness as the year of 2010 leaves us. Perhaps it is because my procrastination has led to another wasted year that I feel such reluctance. Even though I gave up new year resolutions years ago, I cannot help but want to create great goals for myself in the hope of a fresh year {even though we all know that by February goals become passing dreams}. So, when is it a good time to start a goal? Should they even be attempted? No. You're right. Goals are for losers.

Remember those days when everyone wanted a sequin belt to wear over their prairie skirts? Remember those days when everyone wanted ponchos to wear over the witty tees? Remember calf-length Lycra leggings? Remember jeggings? Ugg boots? Oh wait, everyone still wears Ugg boots. As warm as they be, I feel that girls cannot use Ugg boots in coordination with real ensembles. Ugg boots + jeans + t-shirt, I can handle. Ugg boots + floral dress + tights? Please. In this situation, Ugg appropriately means ugly. As in "floral cutout tights that give your legs the appearance of spider veins" ugly. No more. Wield Ugg boots cautiously so as to not frighten and disturb the delicate visual senses of normal people. Otherwise, the entire population of young girls may begin accepting Ugg boots as tasteful couture...

with winter, there's no doubt feelings of the warm and fuzzy sort begin to appear. inspired by this sudden change of temperature, I have begun layering clothing as if what I lack in blubber can be made up in terms of artificial insulation. of course, with my new Emily the Strange haircut, I have been feeling young and chic enough to pull of bizarro combinations of thermals and button ups. with my new pair of combat boots, I have enough of the homeless/hipster look to cover for the entire population of san francisco. hopefully, I won't be recognized, captured, and detained by either real homeless people or hipsters. Happy Winter!