In honor of Valentine's Day, like all bitter, teenage girls, I must spend part of my day stoning happy couples and part of it wallowing in my pity party (which, of course, you are invited to). However, I have also taken the time to analyze the appealing qualities women (read: high school girls) must possess to attract members of the opposite sex. Here are some questions I would like to have answered: 1). Is it attractive to refer to male genetalia? Certainly we are not all as killer/cute as Natalie Portman, thus we cannot simply tell others to "suck my d...