home of the enslaved and cowardly

Under-eye bags, that is. I wish that at least my tiredness could be conveyed in a sexy-child-waif-Kate-Moss type of face. Unfortunately, my reflection tells me otherwise. I'm more of a grouchy bulldog facing a powerful gust of wind - attractive, I know. I need earbuds. I have lived almost half a year without working earbuds, and before that I was using a set with only 1 working earbud. It could be worse. I am aware: I could have terrible taste in music. In which case, non-functional earbuds would be saving me from my own terrible choices. Although, let's face it - the music I enjoy most is either really  popular from 18 months ago or terribly embarrassing 90s style. Or Liza Minnelli. Or doo-wop. Or - you know what, let's just stop here. There are some things that I'm really excited for right now (CHRISTMAAAAS, cold weather, painted fingernails, cookies), but my drooping eyelids say otherwise. Cannot even figure out how to end this

So, since checking online for my shows, I now know what I will most likely resort to this weekend. My plans may or may not include: writing a letter to an old friend who is far far away, watching simpsons, watching 30 rock, watching Roomie gravitate towards LoL again, and studying I guess . Getting groceries today so I don't eat all the ramen that I set aside for good enough reasons (see: in a rush, cold weather, loneliness). Where can I find a good, rot-your-teeth-out, asians-pull-out-your-cameras-and-phones cupcake? Not that I need anymore baked goods in my system. On the same day, one of the roommates brought home cookies from the bakery where she works, someone baked me an entire batch of brownies, and there was heavenly chocolate cake at work. My body says no, but my mind says "oh what the hell, just eat it. And that one too. WHY BOTHER WITH STOPPING." (Someone needs to block the food network and the travel channel  from me.)

Binge eating like crazy today. Too many meals too count - I am definitely an emotional eater. Stomach is trying to flip itself out of my gut. I can only spit up anxiety and nausea. Hopefully, I can wait this out before I swallow my apartment whole.

and Other Anxieties Went to a beautiful wedding this weekend. Did not cry (almost did. So close. I was actually hoping to cry at the ceremony ). The ceremony, the dress, the groom choking up at his vows, the two receptions, the food, most of the company - entirely delightful. But every party has its pooper. Now it's back to the sad reality that is my life. Paralyzed by fear right now, so I'm Girl From Ipanema  - ing it up with Old Blue Eyes. Can't really get deep breaths in yet. Not quite sure what my body is trying to do (pretty sure it's trying to tell me how it's 4000% done with me  everything). Wish me love for this week?

Don't any questions. Just do it. Drown all your fears, worries, anxieties, concerns, hesitations, question marks in strawberry milk and never look back. This just goes to show - buy me a strawberry milk whenever I am upset. But given the recent spike of emotions that make up my weepy, excitable being, you may have to buy a lot of strawberry milk. (whoever it is that I am addressing.) Just voted - oh citizenship. Glory be to my "just voted" sticker. In other news, will be attending a wedding tomorrow! I bought the most gloriousbeautiful expensive  dress, but IT WILL BE WORTH IT BECAUSE I SMILE SO HARD JUST FROM LOOKING AT THAT DRESS. Not to mention, it's a super flattering and fluttery and tea-party-worthy frock. Too bad that since I spent a hefty sum on the dress, I couldn't get shoes (or a purse for that matter) to go with it. Darcy kind of looks like James Marsden to me. Chiseled features to the point of... eh.  Wearing a wonderfully handsome ensemble ...