home of the enslaved and cowardly

Oh internet folk (namely, just one person), I adore you so. GOT A PERSONAL POST FROM MY FAVORITE AUTHOR ON YGL. NOT GONNA LIE - I FEEL REALLY SPECIAL. And my non-stop giggling may have creeped my roommate 10 minutes ago, but she has put earbuds in since then. So - YEEHEHHEEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. I haven't felt this light (complete with toothy grins, bouncing up and down, and dancing in a limb-flailing and body-rolling kind of way) in the longest time. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU. THIS IS STARTING TO GET EMBARRASSING. Alright, I feel ready to face the world tomorrow.

You know those studies where the listening of music has been found to greatly affect mood? Yeah. Self-explanatory here: Went from listening to Karina Pasion's Slow Motion  and Big Bang's Blue to... BIG BANG'S BAD BOY! ...jk, cannot embed the video. ANYWAYS. After being an insane woman for more than a week now, this song just makes me WANNA DANCE AND LET LOOSE (see: "when rainbows are enuf"). Have to do some real world stuff coming up on Thursday (you know, paperwork and such). Cheers.

Having read for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf  for my theater class, I have a feeling of being understood, yet not quite. I think that I like this play, but I haven't gotten exactly what it is that I like about it. Although I am not "colored," I realize that I too enjoy expressing myself through dancing without abandon and talking to someone I keep a secret inside my mind. BUT. That can't be it. This play, as difficult I have found it to read, has got something that I, I dunno, want to nod my head in agreement to. Is it a female thing? I almost said "a woman thing," but honestly, I don't feel as if I could be described as a woman. (I've already had the what really determines when a girl becomes a woman? debate with some of my friends before - so far... menstruation? virginity-or lack thereof?) SUBTLE SEGWAY I want to eat, breathe, and sleep rice when I go back home for spring break. Sweet, fragrant white rice, s...

I would like to show off  the love that I have received from a technically not so anonymous Interweb acquaintance. Not in that way, dumbass. In that we share mutual interests on the same forum and can talk freely about things that are not ourselves kind of way. Almost in a maybe I can live without friends  people in the real world, but who am I kidding I hardly have friends in the real world sort of way. ANYWAYS. Hopefully, my luck will start to change. As of today, I had my haircut after a year (农历二月初二 - 剃龙头), ate rice (龙抬头的日子), and found out that my beloved author at a forum I frequent  lurk on has updated. This could be the start of something good (or however that High School Musical song segway works). I do not even care.

If you haven't heard, scroll down and listen to . Ad nauseum. Rinse and repeat. Replay. Blahblahblah, indeed. Going to end this without even wishing anyone "Good Luck." I know, fairly malicious (read: joke). But - that is what you can do when no one is listening. Be malicious (and joke badly).

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck Hi. How you doin'? How long will it take for me to carry on normally (read: not like the hormonally crazed psycopath that I currently am)? 1 week? 1 month? 1 year? See you in then? (you know that I'm going to be back within hours   soon  before then)

I want to tell them everything, but I want to remind myself to not endanger myself. Self-preservation. What can you do? You're just Totally Fucked, capitalized and everything.

བཀྲ་ཤིས་བདེ་ལེགས  其实最近不算 auspicious nor well。我的情绪起伏相似波浪，忽高忽低。完全不受我的控制。其他的人也是这样子的吗？我有时候想当一个水一般的女人：有一般人的问题，思考，毛病，等等。心里头憋不住。老想大喊大叫，滚来滚去。可是我就是做不到。我每一次发生心理状况，我都会跑去跟朋友或妈妈投诉。也不能叫投诉，算是一种告白吧。 这一次, 我要试一下独立的感觉。 千万不能说出去 (其实， 好别扭. 我自己都觉得不会撑到多久)。 看着办吧。  （错别字应该很多吧) Well, fuck you.

Or option C - suffer in silence. And listen to music that no one else wants to listen to. Then proceed to dance like no one's watching. Even if someone is watching. If at this point you still feel the urge to spontaneously combust, roll around in a whiny fit (read: like a small, ill-tempered child). Be sure to throw in a few stomps and hair mussing for good measure. Because everyone has feet of clay, you are more than welcome to a regular amount of tantrums weekly. Just in case none of these options are enough: give them hell and don't take shit from anyone.

Bitter? What makes you think that? To anyone who is spending the day either with or thinking of their significant other, cheers to you. Everyone else is welcome to join me in the stoning of happy couples (read: in my head). Don't mind me. I will just be blasting 2NE1 in the soundtrack of my life and strutting in the hallways. Almost forgot to mention the little red haired girl (see: Peanuts ) - except there is really no reason to mention her at all, as I am no one's little red haired girl. I don't have a little red haired girl either. Never mind. Can't stand the saccharine sweetness in the air? Hold your breath, close your eyes, and stumble about from point A to point B. Good luck. We are going to need it.

最近的心事让我好想念童年的简单. 听说我是一个性格很急的人, 我就是什么事情都要现在决定. 好朋友有跟我分享, 我应该学会懂得什么叫做耐心. 我也是最近才认识一个叫做情伤的东西 - 虽然我还是没有什么感情界的经验, 我尝试了被人拒绝的感觉. 其实他也不是拒绝我, 因为我根本没有跟他告白过. 他只是把我看成他的一位很亲的朋友. 可以算上那种最亲的朋友. 我现在是在一个很受惊的状态. 随时都能爆炸. 请勿打扰.

Remember that attempt of withdrawing from kpop ... Forget about it. I do believe that it is going to stick around for quite the while. Especially my 2NE1. I can remember when they first debuted the summer before junior year (Read: when I failed to become a section leader and started to become the psychotic bitch that I am now). I was nearly dependent on Fire  (their debut song) to kick start my marching band rehearsal days. For now, I would like to suggest this for anyone (mostly women, but dudes are welcome to listen as well)... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGe0hHvAGkc&ob=av2e And look for the lyrics as they are wonderful as well.