home of the enslaved and cowardly

Even though school has just restarted, I already wish for school to be over (read: more sleep please). Not to mention, I remembered this song from when it first came out (yes I know, I prefer this slightly more acoustic version of the original and I enjoy shamelessly plugging famous youtube-ers). Now if you will excuse me, I must lay in my bed and do nothing at all (instead of studying for a Calculus BC test).

Really? Do self-conscious females really need this? What was once the uniform of strippers, the monokini is now a swimsuit style anticipated by the coming summer. Like we needed another nylon reminder of all the un-shapely body parts we have. Remember kids, putting a pretty shirt over your muffin top does not make you a cupcake.

Thanks awkward Biology textbook chapter on Animal Reproduction. From now on I will no longer be left out when my peers make lewd references to when spermatozoon is deposited in or near the female reproductive tract. I will understand the contributions that the seminal vesicles, prostate glands, and bulbourethral glands make. No worries, this child will understand all future innuendoes. Or face further embarrassment in all things birds-and-bees related. Who knows?

No joke. My brother will now have a crazy battle scar from his epic brawl with the sidewalk (read: he fell off his skateboard after tripping himself). Unfortunately, I had to patch up the underside of his chin. While his wound was spouting blood, we utilized our supply of rubbing alcohol wipes and Neosporin only to find that his laceration would not stop bleeding. I was about to tape a sanitary napkin (read: pad) to the bottom of his face. Thankfully we found a miniature first-aid kit that possessed a humongous sized band-aid. We taped the not-really-appropriately-shaped band-aid to his face with masking tape and called it a day.