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that's attractive.

In honor of Valentine's Day, like all bitter, teenage girls, I must spend part of my day stoning happy couples and part of it wallowing in my pity party (which, of course, you are invited to). However, I have also taken the time to analyze the appealing qualities women (read: high school girls) must possess to attract members of the opposite sex. Here are some questions I would like to have answered:
1). Is it attractive to refer to male genetalia?
Certainly we are not all as killer/cute as Natalie Portman, thus we cannot simply tell others to
                                                                    "suck my d---".
So, to the population of overdeveloped black girls who reside in the backs of school buses, stop making this reference. It's not attractive.

2). Is it attractive to call people whores?
Because everybody knows that labeling other people instantly makes you not a whore.

3). Is it attractive to utilize high frequency cackles?
Please. stop, the Australian population of dolphins kindly wishes for you to use your laugh in case of emergency only.

I love(read: SARCASM) high school heterosexual couples.
for those who don't creep on Natalie Portman...here's what I was alluding to
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