Feel like a hurricane has ripped through the house that is my mental and emotional status quo, and I can't decide how to process all of these changes. First off, boys. Who knew that I would ever be liked by them? Too late though, I already have two cats. Just kidding, like cats are going to deter boys from pussy (I promise I haven't given my virginity away yet to any of the guys that only talk to me for 2 weeks at a time). Knowing that there are boys to talk to has really shaken up the flavors of my life. All the shit that I have been into since "the year Julia was fourteen" (so dubbed by the bros) no longer have the same appeal. What do I even do with myself on weekends now besides occupy my thoughts with boys? I suppose I have been visiting old man and skim in Austin, as well as going home a lot. Free time, when I'm not pooped, is TV, painting, and drinking. Bbobbo and Giogio may be languishing as a result (my bad, homies). I now have a full-blown addiction to checking my phone, although I'm currently in a phase of radio silence after I have apparently murdered all conversations I've ever had. Shoutout to smellody, skim, ol man, and shunzi for reminding me that I had and remain to have these human interactions to sustain my debilitating loneliness in ETX. If things don't pan out with this boy, I'll take a break from socializing and workout my liver more...slippery slope here we go
Going to probably finish my thesis in June, stay for another year to work and apply, and then leave after that. Apparently I've become numb to the worries about the future after telling so many people, but typing it up here brings back fresh dread and fragrant uneasiness.
Lady crush (appropriately on a wednesday) is currently Kehlani. She a hawtie.
Feel like I missed out on recording all of my dreams, so I'll put some of the more recent ones I've transcribed for shunzi here.
Ok first one was Kathy and I had to assassinate this douchebag college prof, get rid of body and evidence, go into hiding, and lead the investigation on a wild goose chase
Second one was that fam was in China walking down a regular dirty city street and pass some event
It's celebrating international athletic achievements and there are people in jerseys and medals and body builders(oiled up and flexing)
Except one of those bodybuilders is one of the Russian profs here in Tyler
AND HE WAS HUGE AND TERRIFYING
his Russian wife was also there to celebrate her achievement in a 5k
Then I turned around and saw regular sized Russian prof taking pictures of his huge counterpart
That's more disturbing to me than being a wanted murderer
Going to probably finish my thesis in June, stay for another year to work and apply, and then leave after that. Apparently I've become numb to the worries about the future after telling so many people, but typing it up here brings back fresh dread and fragrant uneasiness.
Lady crush (appropriately on a wednesday) is currently Kehlani. She a hawtie.
Feel like I missed out on recording all of my dreams, so I'll put some of the more recent ones I've transcribed for shunzi here.
Ok first one was Kathy and I had to assassinate this douchebag college prof, get rid of body and evidence, go into hiding, and lead the investigation on a wild goose chase
Second one was that fam was in China walking down a regular dirty city street and pass some event
It's celebrating international athletic achievements and there are people in jerseys and medals and body builders(oiled up and flexing)
Except one of those bodybuilders is one of the Russian profs here in Tyler
AND HE WAS HUGE AND TERRIFYING
his Russian wife was also there to celebrate her achievement in a 5k
Then I turned around and saw regular sized Russian prof taking pictures of his huge counterpart
That's more disturbing to me than being a wanted murderer
Last one
Kinda watching this one as opposed to experiencing it
Little girl to beloved parents
Poor but they love each other a lot blah blah blah
Little girl is kinda scrappy and gets into a lot of trouble because of her curiosity but her parents nurture this
Then we find out that the dad used to have this super prestigious education and career background but he gave it all up
Then one night the dad comes back from doing laundry and tells the family they need to evacuate the building
Apartment building
Because he brought kerosene soaked blankets down to the basement level where laundry machines are
And there was gasoline in the floor
And his shoes someone striked a fire
But he didn't seem like he was trying to commit suicide or hurt anyone
His wife is very understanding and they get ready to leave in a surprisingly efficient manner
Daughter is too young to understand so is just watching and kind of panicking
Parents then evacuate everyone from the building
When everyone is like "now where are we going to live" they get a mysteriously too good to be true offer
From a strange benefactor
Inviting them to an all expenses paid trip or lodging that requires them to travel to a different city/country
But everyone's invited together and they figure it's something he insurance company or management got for them so they decide to go
Little girls parents instead of going with everyone, leave the girl with a neighbor family who plans on going
Neighbor family has a tween or teenaged daughter who is basically now the baby sitter
Little girls parents tell their daughter that they have to go somewhere first, don't worry, they'll come back for her as soon as they can
And that she should believe in herself and in her parents
Then once the apartment renters get to their new lodgings, teen neighbor girl is bored of baby sitting rambunctious little girl
Little girl finds or receives mysterious package
Inside are monster high doll accessories but no dolls
Little girl thinks this is important so starts investigating her environment
Then basically finds the dolls and realizes that she can use the toys to communicate with her parents
Who we haven't seen since they said goodbye
Little girls parents through the toys tell her that she needs to save(?) the apartment residents by using her powers(?)
From the evil ?????
This part of my memory is less clear
And basically she has something like sailor moon powers that she can control after some practicing with the neighbor girl
The. End.
Cuz I can't remember
(Those three dreams were all from the same night, when I may have been on heavy strength Nyquil)
I had another dream (after I had watched a documentary on the Burj Khalifa) that Amazon (the company) wanted to move its headquarters to the Amazon rainforest. And they would build a whole new society there. Instead of UPS brown trucks, deliveries were made to the new HQ via rafts. They had built a high rise, but still expected people to live as naturally as possible. One of the first to move to Amazon@Amazon was Maangchi, the Korean cooking channel lady. She was still making youtube videos and blog posts about cooking korean food in the Amazon. Still had a big shiny fridge and granite countertops but would also have to go "down to the river" to pick up deliveries of korean groceries like gochugaru.
Kinda watching this one as opposed to experiencing it
Little girl to beloved parents
Poor but they love each other a lot blah blah blah
Little girl is kinda scrappy and gets into a lot of trouble because of her curiosity but her parents nurture this
Then we find out that the dad used to have this super prestigious education and career background but he gave it all up
Then one night the dad comes back from doing laundry and tells the family they need to evacuate the building
Apartment building
Because he brought kerosene soaked blankets down to the basement level where laundry machines are
And there was gasoline in the floor
And his shoes someone striked a fire
But he didn't seem like he was trying to commit suicide or hurt anyone
His wife is very understanding and they get ready to leave in a surprisingly efficient manner
Daughter is too young to understand so is just watching and kind of panicking
Parents then evacuate everyone from the building
When everyone is like "now where are we going to live" they get a mysteriously too good to be true offer
From a strange benefactor
Inviting them to an all expenses paid trip or lodging that requires them to travel to a different city/country
But everyone's invited together and they figure it's something he insurance company or management got for them so they decide to go
Little girls parents instead of going with everyone, leave the girl with a neighbor family who plans on going
Neighbor family has a tween or teenaged daughter who is basically now the baby sitter
Little girls parents tell their daughter that they have to go somewhere first, don't worry, they'll come back for her as soon as they can
And that she should believe in herself and in her parents
Then once the apartment renters get to their new lodgings, teen neighbor girl is bored of baby sitting rambunctious little girl
Little girl finds or receives mysterious package
Inside are monster high doll accessories but no dolls
Little girl thinks this is important so starts investigating her environment
Then basically finds the dolls and realizes that she can use the toys to communicate with her parents
Who we haven't seen since they said goodbye
Little girls parents through the toys tell her that she needs to save(?) the apartment residents by using her powers(?)
From the evil ?????
This part of my memory is less clear
And basically she has something like sailor moon powers that she can control after some practicing with the neighbor girl
The. End.
Cuz I can't remember
(Those three dreams were all from the same night, when I may have been on heavy strength Nyquil)
I had another dream (after I had watched a documentary on the Burj Khalifa) that Amazon (the company) wanted to move its headquarters to the Amazon rainforest. And they would build a whole new society there. Instead of UPS brown trucks, deliveries were made to the new HQ via rafts. They had built a high rise, but still expected people to live as naturally as possible. One of the first to move to Amazon@Amazon was Maangchi, the Korean cooking channel lady. She was still making youtube videos and blog posts about cooking korean food in the Amazon. Still had a big shiny fridge and granite countertops but would also have to go "down to the river" to pick up deliveries of korean groceries like gochugaru.
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