"the one thing they really couldn't stand was a smartass"

Oh, I feel the return of my sanity. Thanks to a heavy dosage of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the radio broadcast version is so soothing) and some David Mitchell-induced laughter, I am feeling my spirits rise. And you know what happens when spirits rise... bad jokes and awful puns.

What's green and sings?
                                                                                         Elvis Parsley

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
                                                                                        A carrot
And now for the all-kill....

What's brown and sticky?
                                                                                        A Stick


p.s. You're welcome.