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day 08 → a photo that makes you angry/sad


This is the best that I could do.

It's a nice picture (because you cannot make out my face or body), but it brings me a little regret as my friends often hear me whine about.

 So you went to prom single - NBD.

What is a little bit of a BD is that I regret not having the confidence that I have now, back then. Of course, a lot of my self-esteem and such comes from experience and time, but I really wished that I believed in myself a little bit more back then. Because by the time prom came around, I realized that I had made a very small, tight-knit group of gal pals (WHOM I ADORE WITHOUT A DOUBT), but I had also pushed myself into a corner where I was completely unaccepting of new and strange things and people. I regret going to prom solo because I felt like my hypothetical date and I would have had a wonderful time (because I am hilariousandlovetodanceandetc. Someone is a little uncomfortable with bragging).

I'm sure highschool!me and current!me have vastly differing opinions on prospective dates, but - who knows? Perhaps prom would have been a much more memorable night than the hazy recollection (vague because I didn't make any SUPERDUPERULTRAMAN memories. Not because I partied so hard that I forgot about it. Although, we did find an open pad on the dance floor. I certainly did not make that memory) that my photo here resembles. Perhaps it would have been a disaster that my friends and I vowed to never speak of.

I don't have a crippling sense of regret (ultra thrifty self bought a $99 dollar dress + 99¢ nail polish + shoes I wore previously to fancy banquets + self styled hair, which is a testament to the resolve of my hair + 2 seconds worth of makeup. So the dress wasn't as thrifty as possible). I just have a special memory. OKAY I CANNOT THINK OF A BETTER, NON-AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL WAY OF PHRASING THIS. Usually, all my feelings towards experiences - good or bad - are usually in the light that they taught me something unique. OKAY I AM TERRIBLE AT THIS USING-WORDS-THAT-DESCRIBE-YOUR-FEELINGS-IN-AN-UNDERSTANDABLE-YET-NOT-TRITE WAY.

 Jittery from coffee that I had with research/mentor/friend.

 OFF TO THE LAND OF ACCOUNTING.
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