By the Order of Fifth Wheeling

I hereby declare that I hate being a fifth wheel. Please.Could we forbid these occurrences in the future? I hate hating, and I hate it. Can I elope with myself? (Was asked what I most love about myself on an online quiz - panicked. Need reevaluation. Stop. Will get to eventually. Stop.)

Also, whoever it is that currently has a death grip on my heart - would you please go? It's getting a little hard to breathe in here. ~~and you're doing it wrong~~

Memo: please write about my most favorite episode of the group, "Thanksgiving Hostage Situation"

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Hammurabi's Code

And other things. Hammurabi's for my etymology paper. The other things are for my friends. It's my genius fault, really. I REALLY want to make a parallel between the hit show Friends and my, well, friends. But we soon realized that the pool of characters wasn't enough to cover all of our friends. So, we started collecting more characters from TV show, cartoons, movies, books. Maybe what we need is our own original series. Too bad we don't have an objective third person to use as a narration device. I, as challenged by one of the said friends, will simply serve as the writer for now (let's ignore all of my emotional, delusional. and hormonal baggage that all of my imaginary audience is familiar with from previous posts). Let's start off with the easy ones... _____________________________________________________________________________ Coach Coach - Nick Kent if you're well-versed in the world of sports blogs - as I like to call him, has been a class...

tokio

So the conversation with my middle-aged, Chinese father went like so: "I remember the movies that impacted me the most when I first came to America" "Titanic" "No, Charlie " "Dad, what the hell is Charlie? I've never heard of it before?" a low-budget, 90s film perhaps? "nononono...You know the one with the 娃娃(doll) with the scar. Scary" "A doll? You mean Chuckie?" "Yeah. That's what I said. Scary doll, scared the shit out of me" "Really? Did you understand english then?" "哎呀(onomatopoeia of exasperation- aiyah! ) I didn't need to. So. Scary. At first, I watched by myself, but then I was too scared so I convinced your mother to watch it with me. She was pregnant with you at the time, I think. She thought the movie would influence your birth, but I was scared so there were no other options" "...So you risked your firstborn's birth to watch Chuckie?" "...Yes" ...

30 Day Drawing Challenge - Day 2: Favorite Animal

My darling Bonbon the Chihuahua. Who is more bark than bite. Who hates small children. Who is my favorite 跟屁虫. Who is a small dog in the land of giants. Who does not shiver or have weird body proportions because she has more dignity than your average Chihuahua. Love of my life.

home of the enslaved and cowardly

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